when you are blessed or when you are not

Today’s Christian logic goes somewhat like this:

Something Good Happened To You
+ You Believe God Let This Happen To You
—————————————————–
You Must Be Blessed By God

This is straight out of Philosophy 101: Logic.  If A + B then it must be C.  However, it is considered one of the most flawed logical formulas because it rarely holds consistent.

A person recently on Facebook posted that a well-named Christian figure’s house was not burned down by the Colorado Springs fire, they rejoiced (as many commenters did) because it showed the person must be blessed.  However, what about the 400 families that now have ashes to return to?  Have they somehow lost their blessing?  Never had it?  Does God not feel the same about them?

Do we look at tragedies like the Moore tornado or Sandy Hook and state that those who survived are blessed and those who didn’t are not?    So who really holds onto the blessing of the Lord?

I would suggest that we have made up dogmatic points to satisfy our need for positive reaffirmation.  If that is the case, then we use spiritual concepts like “blessing” as nothing more than a self-help concept.  A term to solidify those who are deserving and those who are not.  It has little to do with God and far more to do with our own worldly outlook.

Biblically, this falls into the same question of “why do good things happen to bad people?”  Why was the book of Job written?  How, in the end, did Job hold onto the truth that he was indeed blessed, even though he lost everything but eventually gained it back?  That situation alone would have pushed me to the loony bin.  (Which then I would have not been very blessed…or would I?)

This entire post may come off as nit-picky or simply me being a curmudgeon.  I am not going to slap someone across the face if they tell me or suggest someone else is blessed; because the reality is, we are all blessed.  However, blessing isn’t meant to be a positive reaffirmation of God’s love for you, because that was settled in a very bloody way through the cross.

When I look at the definition of the word blessed, it is often coupled with the word kneel, a physical act of submission towards God.  That alone twists the aforementioned logic because submission, in the Biblical definition, is pictured as a dog coming to it’s master and licking his hand out of unconditional love.  The dog would then be blessed because he simply loves/is submitted to his master.  Amazing eh?

So, love God and be blessed is the short moral of this blog.  Seems easier to logically understand than the self-help mishmash we have created.

where the road detours unexpectedly

I am a natural cynic.  I do not trust people.  I do not trust well, laid-out plans.  I am always looking for the potential snag that will throw everything off.  However, even I am prone to overconfidence.

So when the road takes an unexpected detour, it jolts you.  The emotions experienced when a three hour drive, now takes four because the detour backs up traffic, moves through small towns can frustrate even the most patient person.

Over the years, I have asked questions about these detours.  I really do not have answers but they almost collapse on me like stages of grief:

1. Is God punishing me for a certain area of struggle, so that’s why that expectation isn’t happening?

Everyone struggles with sin.  However, it crosses my mind that I must be doing something wrong that is preventing me from attaining something good.  This could be chalked up to God not wanting me to transition somewhere else because that issue could hinder me there. There are many angles I can take with this.

2. Has my life been predestined to just be a continuous struggle?

I am not a Calvinist but when things suck, and they continuously seem to suck, I do wonder if I was put on earth to be an example to others that some people may never catch a break.  Now that is not necessarily true for my life but when things aren’t going your way, we all know that we do not think rationally.

3. Maybe God has a different plan for me?

This is the common answer that most people give you.  It is the typical “funeral” response of “if you need anything, just call me.”  People attempt to make you feel better by saying God will open another door.  Internally, when I hear this, I often want to shout, “what if He doesn’t open another door?!  What if I am condemned to this place in life FOREVER!!!”  You can scream in your head and noone hears you.  It can give you a headache though.

4.  Maybe God has other things on His mind and really this whole thing is just part of life?

God is sovereign.  My friend Tim Briggs reminded me of that when Notre Dame was sovereignly destroying Michigan in last year’s football game.  However, I suggested that I do not really feel that God is guiding every, single decision in our life because He allows us to operate in free will.  (Welcome to my molonistic theological stance)  As the more curt saying goes, “shit happens.”  There are points in life where life is going to happen and that is just part of the process we live in.

What I have ultimately found is that the unexpected detour pulls on the selfish core that exposes itself in the most unnatural ways.  It is similar to Galadriel’s manifestation when Frodo offers her the ring.  Our true selves manifest when we are presented with something we know we are either not going to get or we simply cannot have.

However, if that next door opens and it rocks out, then the post could very well be, “when that detour turns into finding a pot of gold.”  Let’s be honest, situations always filter your present perspective.

What It Means to Be a Man: Starting the Vulnerable Journey

Rhett Smith’s book What It Means to Be a Man continues to engage the conversation on issues men might face to invite freedom. It isn’t a recipe book that assumes if you follow certain steps you will become a perfect man. Instead, Smith focuses on key areas that will at least cause a person to critically think through the various layers of what makes a person a man.

In the second part of his book, Smith focuses on Depression, Silence and Being Stuck. Through mentoring, the walls that I have encountered most with guys are a maze of anger, frustration that eventually exposes a sadness of where they are at in life.

As men we work hard to masquerade what we want people to see. We take our acting very seriously, consistently monitoring other people’s reactions toward us so we can continue to fit into the social circles that represent stability. In my first conversation with a young guy, I said, “you put on a good show so people will continue to love you, but the reality is, people do not love you enough to care about what’s really going on below the surface.”

Vulnerability exposes our weaknesses, it makes a man feel naked and unguarded. It is everything that we instinctively recoil at. As a mentor, it is a gained privilege to journey into vulnerability with someone so they can find who they truly are. Change only happens in the deep, inner workings of a person.

Another step towards empowering change is knowing that you are not walking through this alone. A mistake many men make is thinking they can handle an emotional trip on their own. We are at our best when we are working in a unit. Even in the most individualistic sports you still have a coach or a caddy. It is no wonder that Paul uses such a visual statement to run the race, while being surround by a cloud of witnesses. (Heb. 12:1) He encourages us that we are not alone in this journey and we are being cheered to finish well. We must be committed to each other as we step into the process of vulnerability and going deeper.

If you haven’t yet, please consider purchasing Rhett’s book. I truly believe it will help pinpoint areas of focus that could lead you toward at least thinking through some key areas of your life. This is great for small groups and I am already thinking about how to utilize this for a future men’s small group study.